Thirty…three zero…the BIG THREE ZERO! I am not going to lie, the thought of turning thirty was terrifying.
On the lead up to this day the number 30 represented all the things which I should have achieved but had not.I was supposed to be an amazing wife that was married to the most amazing man. He was supposed to love, protect and encourage me unconditionally. I was supposed to be a mother, a role model, someone that my new little family could be proud of. I was supposed to be a successful business women, who was earning over 100k a year, had travelled the world and explored many foreign cities.
I was supposed to be all of those things but I am not.
Reflecting back on the past decade has been a roller-coaster for me. In this decade...
At some point in our lives we’ve all felt disappointed when the expectations we placed upon a person who we probably described as “special”, “different” or “amazing” weren’t met. Maybe you emotionally invested in the idea of how good it could be instead of seeing it for what it was, and when it didn’t work out you felt rejected - abandoned even, because your feelings weren’t reciprocated.
This would have hurt you and bruised your ego. It would have made you feel angry at yourself for taking a chance on someone. You trusted and confided in them with the hopes they would not hurt you and finding out their feelings were not mutual was like them saying “I see what you have to offer, but no thanks, I’ll pass”.